Tomorrow will mark 100 days since I called the police because he strangled me, but I really only called because he started strangling my dog too.

Why has this past month been the hardest? I’m sure it didn’t help that I saw him at the movies on a date. He had to leave immediately because of he restraining order. That was traumatic for both him, myself, and his date I’m sure.

Why is this the hardest month? Is it that the nerves have cleared, minute by minute anxiety calmed, hopelessness resolved, and now I have to sit a grieve a person I made up in my head? The person I convinced myself he was is so much more attractive than the reality of what he was.

He is 27, I’m 25, and now he’s targeting 21 year olds. I am broken but I am piecing myself together. I love myself and my life, my future, my reality is brighter than anything I experienced with him. I just don’t want to be in competition with the life he’s living separately from me.

Any advice would be great. I don’t know how to move on. I don’t know how to want to.

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